This started out as a post on Facebook and got out of control quick:
A couple of fallacies about those things you're "supposed" to do as an adult.
1. Marriage: A friend of mine posted today that she should get a divorce because it's a tax savings. My question..why bother getting married? So many purport legal and tax benefits that clearly aren't there. Andy and I aren't married, our relationship has lasted longer than some we know who met, married and divorced in less than HALF the time that we have even been together.
2. Rent vs. Own: despite what everyone says, you CAN lose money by buying instead of renting. See this story:http://tinyurl.com/yzdsb2x. We did some calcs when we sold our house in Chicago and could have made a better "investment" by putting the same amount of our mortgage in a regular savings account...and we sold BEFORE the bubble burst.
You know "the list"...all the things that you're supposed to check off when you're an adult? Graduate from high school, get into a good college, find a mate, graduate from college, get a good job, move to the city in a great little apartment, get engaged, buy a condo in the city in the perfect up and coming neighborhood, have dinner parties, get pregnant, move to the suburbs....A lot of us never do that. And yet, we beat ourselves up. "Why am I still a kid?" "What am I doing? I need to grow up!" "I need to find some one to marry and settle down with."
No you don't.
Your life is yours. Do with it what you will.
Yes, I did some of those thing on that list. I'm not against the list. It's just that some of it didn't really work for me. I tried at times to push my life back on the list and took a look around and realized that I didn't need to check everything off to be happy. Andy and I have been together for nearly 10 years. We met in a dive bar on January 19, 2000. I was completely drunk as hell and being a complete ass. He had just started dating someone else. A few months later, we made out in the back of a friend's car and the rest is history. Oh wait, I'm glossing over the part that's different about us.
We started actually dating (not just making out in taxis and friends' cars at 3 in the morning, moved in together in March of 2001, bought a house together in June of 2003, got a dog together in August of that same year, moved to San Francisco together in September of 2007 and had a son together in July of 2009. ALL without getting married. All TOGETHER.
Do we have an anniversary? No. I have NO CLUE what day our first date was. It just kind of evolved. It's nice. I don't get mad at him for not remembering our anniversary and well, he doesn't get mad at me for not remembering. He mostly remembers my birthday (the same month/day as his mom's) but sometimes confuses it with his sister's birthday (one week earlier) and I remember his (The IDES OF MARCH!!! Mwah hah hah hah). We ignore Valentine's day (4 days before my birthday, why bother?) because we love each other every day and don't need a Hallmark holiday to remember it.
About Me
- Katie B
- San Francisco, CA, United States
- Want more of my BS? http://friendfeed.com/idolatrare http://twitter.com/idolatrare
I agree with you a lot of people have been hurt by the real estate bubble burst and might have made a better investment elsewhere. But you say - if you'd have put your mortgage money toward a savings account you would have been better off - but did you also take into account that on TOP of that monthly payment into your savings account you would also be paying rent? So you'd have to have a lot of extra spare cash to play with. At least with a mortgage you get something tangible that you can use.
ReplyDeleteWe did take into account our rent payment. I won't get into the specifics here but what we did was a basic back of the envelope calculation. We took the average rental rate in the same or similar neighborhood for the same number of rooms (bedrooms, baths, living space etc) and subtract that from our mortgage payment. We also added in the total monies we spent on improvements-a bathroom renovation, adding a deck and re-siding part of the house. Yes, in hindsight, we probably spent too much on the renovations but to some degree it needed to be done or we probably wouldn't have sold the house. I suppose that point is arguable but you just never know.
ReplyDeleteMy point is this--don't automatically assume that buying is better than renting. Do the math and don't forget about improvements, repairs, etc. The story I provided the link to above is an extreme case of this but still, it's not ALWAYS better to buy. Yet, so many people continually purport that it is....